Our inner kindness journey started with a feeling, a shared feeling that we had had after having traveled to so many countries and after having taught for so long. It was a feeling from our experience as teachers and as international travelers. Kids today, the world over, are increasingly disconnected from their families and their communities. And disconnected with themselves.
Pedestrians in a line staring at their cell phones in the dark will appear to be a row of jack-o-lanterns. With their heads lit up by their devices, they look like a parade of pumpkins. With increasing frequency, we have noticed these pumpkin-headed pedestrians. They have bumped into us or others. They are oblivious to people around them. They cross the street without looking. Staring at mobiles has become so addictive that 30 states of the United States have banned handheld cell-phone use while driving. Will we soon have laws prohibiting using cell phones while walking? And then there is video gaming. In 2018 the WHO recognized “internet gaming disorder” as a health risk. We know kids who are smart, in the sense that they know a lot of facts (or, in this case, socially accepted trivia); but ask one of them to boil water and he’ll have to look it up on Google first. Or, maybe, Youtube.
Many a young person lives a double life. He has his reality and he had his social media. He will front his social media with an avatar, a cartoon character or some other sort of imaginary version of himself. On Zoom, Google Classroom or the like, he will be unwilling to show his face. This has been our experience even with our own club members. A superficial, two-dimensional image is preferred.
A cell phone is more than a window to global culture, it is a bridge. And while global culture is in itself neither good nor bad, there are aspects, or facets, of global culture that should be recognized as problematic. Negative facets of global culture that stand out, in our estimation, are as follows: the expectation of instant gratification, the suppression and loss of cultural identity and the glorification of mediocrity. False expectations lead one to anger and disappointment. Loss of cultural identity causes one to feel lost and unanchored. The glorification of mediocrity creates an attitude of he-who-yells-the-loudest (or who has the best social media) has the most valid argument. Furthermore, when one engages with his cell phone; he is, in fact, connected to a network of others some of whom may not have his best interests at heart. Cell phones are connected to marketers, influencers, criminals and others all of whom have their own agendas. So, while global culture is neither good nor bad, our addictions to certain facets of global culture are unhealthy, personally and socially unhealthy.
Many of us would happily sit for hours at a restaurant slowly nibbling at mediocre food and sipping flavored sugar water to get free WiFi. We have done it. Why? To feel connected? Perhaps to get some work done. If we are the most technologically well connected of any previous generation, why do so many feel lonely and socially disconnected. When did Facebook and Instagram friendships become more important than making and maintaining friendships with actual neighbors? Perhaps this is fallout from the COVID pandemic when isolation was required. Also friendships take time and effort. In a world of instant gratification, for many, friendships do not seem to be worth the effort. Social media friendships are easier. And social media friendships can be global!
The yantra manab (machine men) have machine hearts. Machine hearts are without feeling. Yantra manab cannot connect heart-to-heart. It is our observation that young people, but not merely young people, are finding it increasingly difficult to express their feelings. Thusly, they are finding it difficult to establish and maintain healthy relationships.
On 27 December 2019 at Motherland Secondary School we met Narayan Baral. After touring his school, we sat in his office. It did not take long to realize that we had discovered a kindred spirit. He too agreed with our assessment of the major problem with modern education being that students where growing disconnected from themselves and their communities. We decided that a professional development training on holistic education was in order. In the course of our research on holistic education, we discovered Satish Kumar’s 3 Hs —hands, hearts and heads. His ideas about good teaching (and baking bread) completed our thoughts. We knew we had reached a milestone on our journey. We taught our students at Motherland that KINDNESS is "using your helping hands, kind hearts and thoughtful heads to make your school and your community a better place in which to live." And we launched, with the help of Deepti Bhandari, our charter president, Kindness Club Motherland, our first kindness club.
We wanted more. Durga Maya and our friend from New York, Megan Baker, read kindness stories to 3rd graders. Then Narayan wanted more. He wanted kindness classes. With the assistance of Shree Krishna Pariyar, we began the process of implementing a curriculum for kindness classes. The implementation process is ongoing and not without obstacles, but to describe this would be a digression.
We now have Kindness Clubs established in other countries with young people of a variety of ages. Some clubs are affiliated with schools, private and public, and others are not. We are experimenting. We have made some mistakes. However, we truly feel that, with the help of our team of kind souls, we can guide others to the inner kindness in each of us.
Kindness Clubs International's Founders and Advisors
